Awards season has arrived. The Oscars, the Golden Globes, all the rest. Some of these shows we love, most we secretly mock. There are way too many, to begin with.
Articles by Cable Neuhaus
AGE: 18 yearsVITALS: WeakPROGNOSIS: Prepare a DNR
AGE: 66 yearsVITALS: Good post-op pulsePROGNOSIS: Gradual improvementRecently, the online investment newsletter 24/7 Wall St. grimly predicted that Road & Track was so deathly ill that it could not survive another year.
THE PATIENT: Robb ReportAGE: 37 yearsVITALS: SteadyPROGNOSIS: Sclerotic tissue
THE PATIENT: American HandgunnerAGE: 36 yearsVITALS: StrongPROGNOSIS: A long life
THE PATIENT: Porthole Cruise MagazineAGE: 20 yearsVITALS: Dangerously erratic pulsePROGNOSIS: Bleak
THE PATIENT: The HumanistAGE: 71 yearsVITALS: WeakPROGNOSIS: StasisWe imagine our patient as a candidate for a blind date. The other party asks, “Is she pretty?” “Well, uh, not exactly,” we answer.
THE PATIENT: Utne ReaderAGE: 28 yearsVITALS: Very weakPROGNOSIS: Life-support efforts may prove ineffective
THE PATIENT: Life ExtensionAGE: 16 yearsVITALS: StablePROGNOSIS: Very good.
THE PATIENT: Where to RetireAGE: 20 yearsVITALS: GoodPROGNOSIS: Positive if patient iswilling to make changes. Who doesn’t harbor dreams of a happy,